Friendships

i got one of those stupid poems you get in an e-mail "send it to so many people or you'll have bad luck" What got me was the poem, i wont repeat it b/c it was kinda long and quite boring, but to sum it up it was basically saying, to tell your friends and family what they mean to you, to Seize the day and Never have regrets.

I thought about that while deleting the e-mail, how would one go about telling everyone close to them how you really feel, i don't even know sometimes how i feel. and if I did how would i know, how to contact them? I have friends in the past who have helped me out when I needed them, but now we hardly ever talk. what would i say to them? "hey thanks for helping me out way back when... so see ya later" that sounds a bit off don't you think?

i thought about all the friends that I considered close friends, and I don't even talk to any of them except for Lee but thats to be expected. Growing up I had one friend until middle school:

Sasha: we were friends until she moved away, thats when we lost contact with each other, sure she moved back but we'd grown up and have different things in common, I see her ever once and a while, but we don't have much to say to each other, that kinda stinks.

i had 6 real good friends in high school, we'd hang out together have our chillin' Wednesday before youth group night, we'd go out to eat, hang out then go to youth group. it was a blast. But do i talk to any of them now?

Adrienne: we were good friends for i believe 2 years then she graduated from high school and we slowly lost contact. she was a funny and good friend though :)

Jordan: He stopped talking to me once i told him i was dating Lee. I miss talking to him though he was a good friend, or so i thought.

Melissa: She moved away and became a mom, and just stopped writing, the last i heard from her was in first year of collage

Dave: We stopped talking after we broke up, but talk every once in a blue moon he'll say something to me on MSN. I wouldn't call him a friend really though, b/c after we broke up we weren't anything to each other, so he wasn't really a friend to begin with i guess. sometime i wondering i should have even dated him with everything that went wrong. if i could go back i probably wouldn't have. too much bad memories with this one.

Tim: He was a good friend while i work with his at Caton's, things got a little weird after Caton's though. think it was b/c he always knew i had a crush on him. who knows though. we lost contact after i went away to school. i always wondered what he was up to though.

Amanda: we were good friend right up to me getting married, then something changed I'm not sure what but something, I always tried to stay in contact with her wherever we went but she just stopped letting herself be found i guess. I guess If i really wanted to find her I could I know where she works and I know people who see her everyday, but if she doesn't want to make and effort why should I?

Corey: where to start with him? we'd been friends since grade 8, we dated 3 years weren't friends for a year, and then after i went away to collage i started talking to him again. we don't talk much but i know where to find him if i ever need him and vice versa

My 2 full summers working at Caton's i made some friends, my first year there was awesome i thought i was friends with everyone there, but only a few after the summer was over did a see more then once.

Christy: She was my closest friend at Caton's through the years, since working at Caton's but after Caton's we just kinda lost contact, again we talk every once and a while on MSN, she got married before me, and we just stopped talking. we lived just down the road from each other and never saw each other for the full year I lived in Fredericton unless we bumped in to each other.

Anita: she was like the "mother hen" at Caton's she was older then us (i think) but she was wiser most of the time, great fun to be around. but again after Caton's we just didn't talk but we talk every once and a while.

Kyle: he was my buddy in the kitchen, the whole first summer he was my buddy, after the summer though we went our separate directions and that was that. we now live in the same city but we never see or talk to each other. Its a bummer, but again though b/c we haven't talked in so long i don't think we'd really know each other anymore.

Naomi: she was awesome we were friends at Caton's and even when we left, but when she moved thats when we lost contact, last i heard (from the grape vine) that she's married living in California

I lived in Fredericton for a year before I got married and had friends there:

Rebecca: she was awesome and we were friends for that year and a bit more, but once again i moved and we just slowing lost contact withe each other. she was going to come visit me, here in Halifax, her and her boyfriend. They never came, I wasn't surprised, its a long, expensive trip and for only staying the weekend its just not worth it. so we slowing stopped talking.

Greg: he was my first friend in Fredericton and I try to keep contact with him, we call every once and a while and now he has e-mail hooked up again we e-mail every once and a while. but not much though.

I had other friends in Fredericton but these were the two that really got inside my head and i opened up to. my other friends were great to, but again we don't talk anymore.

since I've been married i haven't had a whole lot of friends not a huge surprise we don't exactly stay somewhere long enough to make a great deal of friends most of my friends have been friend disassociated with work while working a V&V and OnStar I had work friends but when it came to doing things on the weekend or after work(V&V) we went our separate ways. Now that works out of the way what would we talk about?

I seem to see a pattern, when ever someone, or I move we lose contact and we just stop talking, it almost seems worthless to make friends, b/c we'll just end up moving and I'll lose another friend.

thank the Lord, for families. Really though if it weren't for families i wouldn't talk to anyone.

Mom & Dad: I conciser to be good friends not only are they my parents but they know me better then anyone (expect Lee but that goes without saying) I e-mail mom just about everyday, Dad about not so often but often enough.

Dwayne: I e-mail him once and while, its hard to carry on a conversation with him, he's my brother, what can you expect? :)

Christin: she's nice and I like her, but i don't know her very well either, I always wanted a sister and when i got one i had only met her twice when Dwayne married her. the day he brought her to Sussex to meet mom and dad. And the the day they got married. They live so far away its hard to form a friendship with either of them really.

Lee's family is great some i don't get at all, but his sisters are close to my age so that helps with the friend factor.

Wavey: we're becoming fast friends and I'm glad b/c considering she's family now i know that no mater where Lee and I go we'll still be in contact with her

Kimmy: I don't see very often so i don't have much to say about her, I like her well enough but again i don't know her well.

I'm not sure where i was going with all this, I'm sorry to anyone who read the whole thing, i think i just wanted to get my feelings out and b/c hardly anyone reads this i figured this was the best place to place my thoughts :)

well I'm all talked out i think haha

~Heidi~